Microaggressions (small comments or actions that reveal or come across as a bias or stereotype) are unfortunately pervasive in many workplaces. For example, a comment like “Wow! You are so articulate!” said to a Black coworker might be well-intentioned but when heard over and over from different people can imply that being articulate and Black is a surprising combination. A single comment is typically easy to cope with but chronic exposure to similar remarks can lead to stress, disengagement, and underperformance.

For managers, intervening when we see instances of microaggressions is tricky and yet important since managers play a critical role in modeling desirable behavior and supporting their teams.

When microaggressions happen, there's typically a tug-of-war in our brains. “Did it feel upsetting to others?” “Do I say something right now, publicly, or do I wait and address it privately?” Many factors go into this decision. Things like, "Would it put me at risk?", "How bad was it?", "Did anyone else notice that/interpret it that way?", "Is this a good time to educate?", "If I don't say anything, does it signal that this is okay?" And for managers, the extra layer is, “What does it say about me as a leader or our company leadership overall?”

There is no right or wrong answer, but here are a few tips from our Behaviors of Inclusion workshop at LifeLabs Learning for addressing microaggressions and discriminatory behavior, publicly and privately.

Addressing Discriminatory Behavior Publicly

• Isolate the sentence or comment. If someone says something in public that isn’t okay, you (in a manager role) can do a micro-intervention. The goal of this micro-intervention is to let it be known to other listeners that you recognize an inappropriate comment, but to do so in a way that creates room for change.
• How? Sample public actions include: Pause the conversation by publicly asking "Could you say more about what you mean when you say xyz?", or share: "That sentence/ comment doesn’t land well with me. Or, ‘I’m worried about that comment. Can I share more with you later?’ Or “I think that comment would need to be said differently. Can I share more with you later?”.
• The focus is on the comment or the sentence, never the person. This is what we call ‘separating the person from the action’.

Addressing Discriminatory Behavior PRIVATELY, in a 1-1 conversation:

Give feedback using the LifeLabs Q-BIQ method

• Question: Can we talk about what just happened/ the conversation during our last team meeting?
• Behavior: Describe what you observed/ heard said.
• Impact statement: Share why this matters/ How their action/ comment might impact others?
• Question: End with a question to make it a two-way conversation. Help them decide how to address what happened or what was said.
• Remember to separate the intent from the impact. If the conversation turns to a reaction like “but I didn’t mean it,” acknowledge that intention and impact are separate and yet the impact is real regardless of intention.
• It can also be helpful to frame what you're sharing. For example, "Hey, this is uncomfortable for me to say, but I know you care about the team feeling like they belong, so ..." Framing can help set up the conversation for success.